well by golly gee
your blog brought out the best memories in me
of my 17 year old adventures in bangkok--
so much has changed...holy shit the city used to be
one big juxtapoziton...shanty towns resembling sagura basura/sagrada familia
horizontal instead of vertical plane, smak up against
the cutting edge high rise designs you were sure only existed in wealthy
hong kong and
the fumes, the journey from point a to b, 5 miles, taking 2.75 hours
and now-- for the most part, efficent, clean-- it's a mystery to me
so much change in a decade, only in the third world is that possible
those electronic systems that read your vehical as it crosses a toll bridge...what exactly
are all these waves beaming into us...the realization that
the powers that be can access this channel to make us do and say anything
and then the centerdness that comes as you delve into your belief--
knowing that if you are happy and present, you are immune
planar, and teeming, 3d--the greatest thing when it just expands itself
upward and outward-- cow dung, thatch and flies a plenty
the stench is unexpectadly welcoming
elements of the vernacular-- the understanding of the enormous
vertical strength in a bamboo cross section-- so dense
it can support the entire weight of a house on four 8" diameter poles
suspension above water-- what that means to the inhabitants-- living above water
knowing that you must do so some day, too...
so simple their subsistence-- and watching TV
through every waking hour of their non-toil
how long can that last?
you're riding in a handmade canoe through a filthy klong
reflecting on that prawn dinner that you injested last night
at the restaurant where they handed out condoms instead
of after dinner mints
(is it those sultry nights that drive that thriving sex trade? and what about those
kick boxing trannies-- so gorgeous-- divine goddess-- you are at peace in her presence)
and then onto ko pang kang-- flash forward 10 years, the millenium celebration
in a bamboo hut...sleeping through the shift...because the energy was so intense
it was best digested in the visceral realm...that half lit dimension, easiest accessed
in sivassana...in a place as far from the city lights and simultaneously blanketed by the sea
engulfed by gaia...at the cusp of fluid and terra
the woman in the main village ko pan kan-- with those crooked teeth
crooked smile...the most mishapen and radiant face you have ever seen...
the fascination therein-- diving in, feel her history, experiencing her stories, her
emotional extremes and most importantly, the wisdom gained therin-- wonder
at that light, and then the epiphany-- all that she has seen, all the terror experienced...
it didn't touch her, because she stayed present...this she learned through the
numerous traumas...now it is second nature
you do not share language in common
all in that extended eye contact as she mixes your yogurt and fruits
and...then, the speed boat ride back to ko samoi...
driver with a death wish, bow smacking the concrete sea so hard you
experience the impact waves as they travel through the petal shaped
fiberglass into your womb-- hello ovaries
wondering if you will ever be able to bear children following that experience
the feelings that this brings intense, the image of the village woman
holding the templar space for you to mourn your past losses
i identify completely with your nervousness as you await the flight...
the panic-- what if you're found out?
what if they find here while you're on the outside and use your gifts for intentions evil
a feeling of powerlessness--
drink some more water on the fly
a flight and fight response recognized
and then, peace-- we are only biology--
hydrating cells can take bring you back to center
balance ph--you are special and untouchable.